Monthly Archives: September 2014

This Ripe Cantaloupe walks into a bar

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If you read my last post, you’ll know the creative juices were flowing enough to wonder what would happen if an acronym walked into a bar.  Well, I haven’t squeezed everything out of my mind yet and the joke’s still mostly pulp, so I decided to retreat to the archives and share one of the jokes I wrote before launching this site.

This ripe cantaloupe walks into a bar and hops onto a stool. Before she can even order, a white and sable, long-haired dog comes out of nowhere, and in two bites swallows the sweet little fruit. The dog, turns and shuffles back to its seat with the glummest look anyone in the bar has ever seen.

The bartender turns to one of his customers and says, “I’ve never seen a mutt do that. Wonder what type of dog it is.” The guy at the bar, who happens to be an animal doctor, puts down his drink and replies, “I’ve seen loads of them. That’s a melon collie.”

Vote for this joke – How many bar glasses do you give it?

Origin of a Laugh

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The idea for a joke can pop into my head at anytime, without warning, and that’s often the way it happens.  It’s even occurred at church, leaving me with a slightly guilty feeling and a hope the pastor doesn’t ask what I liked about the sermon.  “Oh, got a great idea for a joke” just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing a man of God would want to hear.

Last Saturday it happened again.  Ellen and I were attending an event we hoped would help us be better travel agents and the speaker was using acronyms for everything.  We constantly had to ask him what they meant when all of a sudden it hit me, an acronym could walk into a bar.

I’ve got the punch line already, and am working backwards to the start and will plan on posting the FFJ (finished funny joke) here soon.  TAF (tell a friend).

UPDATE – 1/25/2019: It only took me about 6 months to complete the joke but almost 4 years to update this post with a link to This Acronym Walks Into a Bar.

My First Post

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On my Facebook page dedicated to ‘Walks Into a Bar’ jokes, I’ve already shared the stories of a plush toy cow, an oyster and a pearl, an apathetic man, a little girl, and a box of paper clips, but that’s not my first joke for this blog.  That honor goes to…

A Cereal Bar from Trader Joe’s

Trader Joe’s has a line of cereal bars and I picked up the apple box expecting to find the punch line of the joke somewhere on the wrapper of the bar.  I was disappointed when no such funny ending was found but at least I enjoyed the snack.  My wife pointed out that the real joke was the name of the food item…This apple walks into a bar (cereal bar, that is).  Seemed to me though the store had made a big mistake by not writing jokes for each fruit flavor and I chose to do something about it.

What Happened Next

I emailed Trader Joe’s with my first joke and offered to write them for each variety of cereal bar they produced.  I received a polite response which left me thinking my next career would probably not be writing jokes for a supermarket chain and shortly thereafter, the idea to go social happened.  Here is that first joke.

So this apple walks into a bar and sits next to this beautiful blonde. He looks at her and says, “Hey sweet thing, you’re a peach I could sink my teeth into.” “And you”, the blonde replied sarcastically, “are rotten to the core.”

In retrospect, I think it could have been written better and maybe I’ll reintroduce the joke later.  From the apple bar, I moved on to another flavor, but that’s a post for another day.