Monthly Archives: December 2014

This Nurse Wearing a Face Shield walks into a bar

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It’s the last day of 2014.  Nancy and Megan, RNs at Kaiser are preparing me for an Esophageal Manometry and like any good patient, I’m looking around the room for the subject of a joke?  After the procedure and before I left I told them I’d write one for them telling what happens when…

Faceshield

Not Nancy or Megan

This Nurse Wearing a Face Shield walks into a bar.  The beautiful health care worker sits down and before she can even order a drink the guy on her right leans in way to close.  Seeing that her protective gear is blocking his path to action, he says, “Hey beautiful, how about taking off your armor and letting me see that beautiful face more clearly?”

Trying her best to ignore him, she looks straight ahead at the bartender and says, “I hope the company I bought this protective guard from will give me my money back because it’s not working.  I haven’t been here for more than a couple of minutes and I’m already getting sick.”

Glasses on the bar 6a

Want to vote for this joke?  Read how now!

 

 

This Camera walks into a bar

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My only goal when I woke up this morning was to get out of bed but that didn’t last long.  Suddenly a to do list started forming in my head and the blogs I hadn’t posted to in a while, like this one, were right at the top of the list.  My photography was on the list too (which allows me to shamelessly plug Bloomsations and More) and suddenly this strange picture developed in my now, wide awake mind.

This Camera walks into a bar and everyone turns and stares at him.  He pans the room in a flash, then focuses on the bartender and snaps, “Take a picture, it lasts longer.”

Glasses on the bar 1

It’s Glasses on the Bar time…read how to vote this joke.

This Cell Phone walks into a bar

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This morning I performed a simple act of kindness; I removed my wife’s Galaxy S4 from the charger and set it on the table.  Suddenly, as if to thank me for my good deed, the tech world increased my digital bandwidth and I saw a new joke.

This Cell Phone walks into a bar, with a tear in her eye, and makes her way to a small table.  The server comes to take her order and noticing the drop of moisture, asks if there’s a problem.  The phone looks up and with a sob in her voice tells her story.  “My boyfriend and I were both called for jury duty last week but I was excused.  I didn’t hear from him for over three days and was really beginning to worry because I knew his battery had been low and I was so afraid he might have died.  Then a little while ago I got a call from a woman who told me he’d been found.”  “Well that’s wonderful” said the server, “so those must be tears of joy.”  “No,” said the little device, “the caller was from the District Attorney’s office and they’re charging him.”

Glasses on the bar 7b

Time to put those glasses on the bar!  Read how to vote.