Monthly Archives: January 2015

This Sailor walks into a bar

I’ve featured a lot of inanimate objects in my jokes so far, but not today.  We’re talking a real live person, a sailor to be more precise.  You know, this just might be the first in a series of armed forces humor.

This Sailor walks into a bar with a notebook in his hand.  He sits at a table by an open window and suddenly starts tearing pages out of the book and throwing them through the opening where they’re carried away by a stiff breeze.  Seeing him motion for a server to take his order, the bartender steps from behind the bar and walks up to the table.

“Bring me a pitcher of dark beer” the sailor says.  The bartender, himself a former Navy man, says reluctantly, “Sorry mate, I can’t serve you.  You’re already three sheets to the wind.”

Glasses on the bar 3a

Step up to the bar and cast your vote.  How many glasses on the bar does this deserve?

This Snickers walks into a bar

There have been several jokes to hit these pages with a Food & Drink twist but this is the first one featuring a candy bar, and it just happens to be one of my all time favorites.

This Snicker’s walks into a bar and sits down to order a drink. The guy on the bar stool next to him leans over without warning and bites the snack in half. He chews, swallows, smiles, and then turns to his friend and says, “The commercial’s right, that satisfies.”

Glasses on the bar 4a

Vote the Joke…how many glasses on the bar would you give us for this joke?

P.S.  Rumor has it that the community at Mars Chocolate was so touched by the this little bar’s misfortune, that they developed a new product in his honor… Snickers Bites.

Another P.S.  A  Big Shout Outto Christopher (Domain.com) for his IT help on the site.

This Bicycle walks into a bar

Like many commuters , I utilize a combination of ride-sharing and rapid transit to get around and am always looking for material for new jokes.  After getting off my BART train this week and waiting for the next leg of my trip, this funny idea biked right up to me.

This bicycle walks into a bar with every type of flying insect smashed into his face.  The bartender looks at him knowingly and says, “Just got off the bus?”

Glasses on the bar 5a

How many ‘Glasses on the Bar’ do you give this joke?  How to Vote!