Category Archives: Animals and Birds

This Duck Walks Into a Bar

Unlike my five most recent subjects of walks into a bar jokes, a daily deals coupon; computer mouse; tape dispenser; school bus; and urinal, most people would agree that a duck can, of course, walk into a bar.  I obviously think the others can too, but that’s what sets me slightly apart from some of my readers.  What humanity might not expect is for any bird to actually strut it’s stuff into a drinking establishment.  But that’s exactly what happened, so be prepared for your wings to flap hilariously as…

This Duck Walks Into a Bar and orders his favorite drink.  The server delivers the beverage to the table and the duck looks up at him and says, “Excuse me, could I get another glass…this one’s quacked.”

 

 

 

 

Hope that was all I quacked it up to be and that you’re ready to vote.  Check out how to make sure your ballot is counted and then get to work.

This Bird Feeder walks into a bar

Funny how jokes come about.  After my wife and I recently bought a bird feeder for our yard, and enjoyed watching the visiting birds, I got the idea that a bird feeder could walk into a bar.  Makes sense, doesn’t it?

This bird feeder walks into a bar and asks for a Passenger Pigeon. “Sorry”, the bartender says, “We don’t serve seedy types like you.”

Glasses on the bar 1

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This Ripe Cantaloupe walks into a bar

If you read my last post, you’ll know the creative juices were flowing enough to wonder what would happen if an acronym walked into a bar.  Well, I haven’t squeezed everything out of my mind yet and the joke’s still mostly pulp, so I decided to retreat to the archives and share one of the jokes I wrote before launching this site.

This ripe cantaloupe walks into a bar and hops onto a stool. Before she can even order, a white and sable, long-haired dog comes out of nowhere, and in two bites swallows the sweet little fruit. The dog, turns and shuffles back to its seat with the glummest look anyone in the bar has ever seen.

The bartender turns to one of his customers and says, “I’ve never seen a mutt do that. Wonder what type of dog it is.” The guy at the bar, who happens to be an animal doctor, puts down his drink and replies, “I’ve seen loads of them. That’s a melon collie.”

Vote for this joke – How many bar glasses do you give it?