Category Archives: English language

Is It or Isn’t It?

I’ve already received 16 Happy Birthday greetings on my Facebook page this morning but I wonder if any of my friends ever stopped to think that April 1st might not actually be my birthday.

This is not my first April Fool’s Day joke on this site but it is a more personal one. When I was born, my dad’s mom told my parents, with great urgency, that if they didn’t legally change my birthdate, her little grandchild would go through much agony growing up, as people made fun of him every April 1st. My folks didn’t go along with her idea!

I don’t recall much about any verbal ‘beatings’ I had on this particular day of the year and, although I’m sure some of Grandma’s concerns were valid, what I do remember is how I turned my birthdate into the best one of all 365. Here’s how it’s looked more times than I can count.

“Good to meet you”, or something similar, someone would say. From there, the conversation would touch on things like, where do you live, what type of work do you do, what schools did you attend, and, of course my favorite, when were you born?

“April 1st” I’d always say and then just sort of look at them with that ‘are you really going to think I’m telling the truth’ look. Their response was almost always verbal disbelief. “No way” or “You’re kidding” or a number of other responses would spurt forth from their mouth.

It would take me a while of explanation but almost always, they would eventually keel over to my side and say, “Wow, that’s really amazing”…which was my queue for the great finish.

“Of course”, I would say, using my most ‘is this really true’ tone of voice, “if it wasn’t April 1st and people believed it was, wouldn’t that be the best April Fool’s Day joke ever?”

The varied looks of surprise, doubt, wonderment, and many more were priceless to me but I could always expect a similar answer, which gave me one more opportunity to spin their minds around.

After digesting what I’d said, I’d get that look of ‘am I falling off the truth into a batch of fiction’ and they’d say, “So you mean you weren’t born on April 1st?”

With that statement, would come my final bit of communication…a quizzical look with absolutely no acknowledgement one way or the other about their question. Basically, I left them hanging, just as I’m doing to you right now!

This Acronym walks into a bar

Way back near the beginning of this blog I wrote about a joke featuring acronyms and today, that joke has come to fruition.  In the event you’re not comfortably conversant with chat talk, follow the links in the story below as you read the tale of how…

This Acronym walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. The bartender strolls over, all smiles, and says, “How you doin’ tonight my friend?” “GR8,” the little abbreviation replies. “Can I get you a beer?” says the barkeep. “PLZ, Y2K.” The barkeeper fills up a glass, delivers the cold beverage to his friend, and gets a hearty “TYVM!”

After a few minutes, the mixologist returns and asks, “Is there anything else I can get for you tonight?” “NO,” replies the acronym with a smile. The bartender, clearly puzzled, says to himself, “I wonder what he meant by that.”

Time to Vote

Time to Vote

 

 

 

 

How many glasses on the bar do you vote for this one?  Read how to vote!

This Fork walks into a bar

When most people say something they regret, there are several next steps.  Mine, after such a situation occurred the other day with my wife, included identifying a new ‘walks into a bar’ joke…

This Fork walks into a bar and asks for a drink.  The bartender, suspecting the utensil of being way to young to be in the bar, let alone trying to buy alcohol, asks for ID.  Lowering his tines in embarrassment, the fork says, “I’m not old enough to have a license but if you let me stay, I think I could be very helpful to you or some of your customers.”  “And why would that be?” the bartender asks sarcastically.  “Well, I’d come in very handy when people need to eat their words.”

Glasses on the bar 1

 

 

 

 

Is that worth more than two glasses on the bar?  Read how to cast your vote.

Origin of a Laugh

The idea for a joke can pop into my head at anytime, without warning, and that’s often the way it happens.  It’s even occurred at church, leaving me with a slightly guilty feeling and a hope the pastor doesn’t ask what I liked about the sermon.  “Oh, got a great idea for a joke” just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing a man of God would want to hear.

Last Saturday it happened again.  Ellen and I were attending an event we hoped would help us be better travel agents and the speaker was using acronyms for everything.  We constantly had to ask him what they meant when all of a sudden it hit me, an acronym could walk into a bar.

I’ve got the punch line already, and am working backwards to the start and will plan on posting the FFJ (finished funny joke) here soon.  TAF (tell a friend).

UPDATE – 1/25/2019: It only took me about 6 months to complete the joke but almost 4 years to update this post with a link to This Acronym Walks Into a Bar.