Category Archives: Relationships

Is It or Isn’t It?

I’ve already received 16 Happy Birthday greetings on my Facebook page this morning but I wonder if any of my friends ever stopped to think that April 1st might not actually be my birthday.

This is not my first April Fool’s Day joke on this site but it is a more personal one. When I was born, my dad’s mom told my parents, with great urgency, that if they didn’t legally change my birthdate, her little grandchild would go through much agony growing up, as people made fun of him every April 1st. My folks didn’t go along with her idea!

I don’t recall much about any verbal ‘beatings’ I had on this particular day of the year and, although I’m sure some of Grandma’s concerns were valid, what I do remember is how I turned my birthdate into the best one of all 365. Here’s how it’s looked more times than I can count.

“Good to meet you”, or something similar, someone would say. From there, the conversation would touch on things like, where do you live, what type of work do you do, what schools did you attend, and, of course my favorite, when were you born?

“April 1st” I’d always say and then just sort of look at them with that ‘are you really going to think I’m telling the truth’ look. Their response was almost always verbal disbelief. “No way” or “You’re kidding” or a number of other responses would spurt forth from their mouth.

It would take me a while of explanation but almost always, they would eventually keel over to my side and say, “Wow, that’s really amazing”…which was my queue for the great finish.

“Of course”, I would say, using my most ‘is this really true’ tone of voice, “if it wasn’t April 1st and people believed it was, wouldn’t that be the best April Fool’s Day joke ever?”

The varied looks of surprise, doubt, wonderment, and many more were priceless to me but I could always expect a similar answer, which gave me one more opportunity to spin their minds around.

After digesting what I’d said, I’d get that look of ‘am I falling off the truth into a batch of fiction’ and they’d say, “So you mean you weren’t born on April 1st?”

With that statement, would come my final bit of communication…a quizzical look with absolutely no acknowledgement one way or the other about their question. Basically, I left them hanging, just as I’m doing to you right now!

Married and Harried

Today’s installment in my Chuckle Control category needs a little explanation.  When I wrote the first one, while living in Northern California, the jokes came about as a sort of push back on the repeated climate control related weather warnings we experienced.  I figured, there had to be something funny about the situation and the series was born.

Well now we’ve moved to a small town in Eastern Washington and don’t hear as much about air quality as we did in the San Francisco Bay Area.  But as our new state has it’s own air monitoring service and since I don’t want to stop writing the jokes, I’m going to keep shooting them into the air.

This newly wedded couple returned from their honeymoon to their small home in Spokane, prepared and enjoyed  a delicious dinner, then headed straight to the bedroom and ended up delightfully asleep in each other’s arms.  In what seemed like just moments, they woke to face their first work day as Mr. & Mrs.  She finished her shower and was grabbing a brush and blow dryer just as he walked in with the first bad news of their marriage.  “Honey, you’re going to have to let those beautiful tresses air dry today because I just heard it’s a Spare the Hair day.

This Cell Phone walks into a bar

This morning I performed a simple act of kindness; I removed my wife’s Galaxy S4 from the charger and set it on the table.  Suddenly, as if to thank me for my good deed, the tech world increased my digital bandwidth and I saw a new joke.

This Cell Phone walks into a bar, with a tear in her eye, and makes her way to a small table.  The server comes to take her order and noticing the drop of moisture, asks if there’s a problem.  The phone looks up and with a sob in her voice tells her story.  “My boyfriend and I were both called for jury duty last week but I was excused.  I didn’t hear from him for over three days and was really beginning to worry because I knew his battery had been low and I was so afraid he might have died.  Then a little while ago I got a call from a woman who told me he’d been found.”  “Well that’s wonderful” said the server, “so those must be tears of joy.”  “No,” said the little device, “the caller was from the District Attorney’s office and they’re charging him.”

Glasses on the bar 7b

Time to put those glasses on the bar!  Read how to vote.