Category Archives: Wearing Apparel

This Nurse Wearing a Face Shield walks into a bar

It’s the last day of 2014.  Nancy and Megan, RNs at Kaiser are preparing me for an Esophageal Manometry and like any good patient, I’m looking around the room for the subject of a joke?  After the procedure and before I left I told them I’d write one for them telling what happens when…

Faceshield

Not Nancy or Megan

This Nurse Wearing a Face Shield walks into a bar.  The beautiful health care worker sits down and before she can even order a drink the guy on her right leans in way to close.  Seeing that her protective gear is blocking his path to action, he says, “Hey beautiful, how about taking off your armor and letting me see that beautiful face more clearly?”

Trying her best to ignore him, she looks straight ahead at the bartender and says, “I hope the company I bought this protective guard from will give me my money back because it’s not working.  I haven’t been here for more than a couple of minutes and I’m already getting sick.”

Glasses on the bar 6a

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This Hat walks into a bar

An NHL player slaps a puck into the net for the third time in a game and thousands of hats float onto the ice; a graduating class is presented to friends and family as caps are tossed joyfully into the air; and in moments of solemn reflection, hats are removed and held over the heart.  But a hat can’t walk into a bar, can it?

This hat walks into a bar and jumps up on a bar stool, calling out to the bartender, “How ya doin’ Mac?”  He gives the barkeep his order and pushes himself back on the stool to relax after a hard day’s work.  Just as his eyes slip shut, the sound of his drink glass being placed on the bar startles him.  He jerks up straight, loses his balance and tumbles off onto the floor.  The bartender runs around the bar to make sure he’s OK and then starts laughing uncontrollably at the site of the poor little hat on the floor.

He picks himself up off the ground, dusts off his brim and snickers at the bartender while climbing back onto his seat.  “Well, I guess that’s one rumor about you we can put to rest,” he says with a tease in his voice.  “What are you talking about?” the bartender replies.  “That you’ve got such a sour disposition, a team of comedians couldn’t get a chuckle out of you” the hat retorted.  “We know that can’t be true because you just laughed at the drop of a hat.”

Glasses on the bar 4a

Time to set up glasses on the bar.  Read how to vote.